Friday, December 19, 2014


Compassion, mercy, forgiveness for everyone but myself.
Understanding, empathy for all but me.
This is the journey, to forgive myself, to take responsibility but then extend to myself the same compassion as I give others.
Regrets so acute and in the forefront of my mind, wanting to take the mistakes and drown them in the sea of my own tears.
Providing others with hope when my hope is so small, helping others overcome when I struggle.
Encouragement, boosting, helping, holding, wiping tears and providing a shoulder, every day, most of the day, to everyone with compassion, and mercy, and understanding.
 Yet standing myself against the whipping post and saying, no mercy for you, no love, no peace, only darkness for you that has sinned.
And I smile and nod, and listen, and validate and implore those who suffer to have compassion for themselves, and understanding, to love themselves more.
Mercy for me, to learn this, when it was not offered to me during those formative years, such a lesson, one that must be learnt over and over again, to patch the wounds and cover with the salve of my own self compassion.